1.The Pastor refers to God only as "Jehovah" and constantly exhorts the congregation to "witness"
2.New members are required to submit W-2's for the last 10 years.
3.Pastor regularly attends meeting at Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
4.The media refers to the church facilities as a "compound".
5.You discover the church refers to the 10 commandments as the 10 suggestions.
6.The Women's Quartet are all married to the pastor.
7.The chancel cross has been replaced with a bronze pyramid.
8.Pastor preaches an eloquent sermon on ancient heresies and the elders want to make them part of the doctrinal statement.
9.The New Member's kit includes a Bible, church-by-laws, and an UZI.
10.The Pastoral Search Committee announces that they discovered a problem with their one good candidate-she's divorced.