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A Dog of a Quote

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx.

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Dave Barry

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
Penny Ward Moser

"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage."
Danish Proverb

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
Aldous Huxley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
Robert Benchley

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
Unknown

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They just think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
Joe Weinstein

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
Unknown

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert A. Heinlein

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
Edward Abbey

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
Mark Twain

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
Abraham Lincoln

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
John Steinbeck

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
Rita Rudner


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