Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Decaflon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopelar effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
Extraterrestaurant: An eating establishment where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry.
Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Kinstirpation: A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
Lullabuoy: An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.